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Happy 500th entry! I never thought in all my years of being on LJ that I would still be going. I created this thing on the 25th of January, 2005 as a kind of new-year-promise thing, as a way of attempting to deal with my head a little better. I've come a long way since those days, so I'm pleased to still be here, journalling my thoughts and feelings and ideas. It's been a great journey, and I hope I'll still be going for some time yet.

I decided I'm going to spend my 500th entry talking about something I love a whole lot, and that is John Lennon. My mother bought me the film/documentary 'Imagine' the other week, and I'd really only found the time yesterday after quite a bad day. I knew I couldn't go to sleep feeling like I did, so I put on the film and watched it. Naturally, as I always am with this topic, I was inspired and felt a lot better. I love it when people talk about John and what he was like, and I love listening to John talk; whether it's about his music, peace or telling people to piss off, I love it. John's a massive inspiration for people all over the world, and I joined those people when I got involved with the Beatles. I was searching for something, and I found it in him - what that 'something' is, I can't tell you; I don't know.

I wish more people held the same ideas he did. The song 'Imagine' is actually, to me, so very moving and the kind of world I could only dream of living in (see: my fictional world in my Nano novel). In the film, John said it was one of his favourite songs too, and I think it's because it represents the kind of world we all want to live in, deep down. Life is too complicated by religion, posessions and countries, and if you can imagine a world without those things, there will be none.

"He came on Earth to give a message, and then he left." ~ Yoko Ono.

Sometimes I get sad that John never got to see life beyond 1980; I would have loved to have seen where he went with his music and life and his campaign for peace. I would have liked him to be here to keep inspiring generations of children to live and breathe and dream for peace and one day, we can achieve it. I miss John, a man I never knew, because he was someone we all felt like we knew, particularly through his music. He was complex and witty, sarcastic and sometimes cruel, but he never stopped being an inspiration.

days 16-20;

I've decided that not updating everyday is good for my health and sanity. Most days I don't really have much to say, so I'll build up a few entries. Firstly;

I have written 34, 368 words so far! This is awesome. I've calculated that I need/want to write around 3000 words everyday if I'm going to get this thing done in time. This is a concern of mine - I have grand ideas which I need to rope in and actually write. I've planned them all and set them up, dropped hints and everything, but they need to be unveiled. I've never written a novel before, so I don't know when exactly within the word count to drop the bombshells. I'm guessing I should be dropping them about now, and I am. Well, almost. Tomorrow's chapter that I write is going to be awesome, because I get to reveal something! (I'm way too excited about this).

Writing has been really good of late. I like this string of chapters because it explores a different side of Dylan, a side that I think we all potentially have and one which we don't release, but she's decided to. Life [in my own reality] has been somewhat... like a rollercoaster, and I'm finding I can pour my frustrations and own questions into my writing and have the characters work them out for me. This has resulted in improved spirits and a calm mind. I feel good, clean and clear - but have burdened my characters instead. But I'm going to help them out soon :)

There's been some strange inspirations lately, such as:

• Carroll's Alice in Wonderland
• The Twilight Directors Notebook (I don't know why) by director Catherine Hardwicke
• Sylar's theme song (such good music to work to, particularly for those darker scenes)
• "Ocean Avenue" by Yellowcard, which I based a scene off.
• "Friends" by Band of Skulls, which I also based another scene off of
• "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds" by The Beatles - LSD ;)

There are some scenes in the book that come from real life. There are real people inside these characters; people whose own personality traits I have given to the characters. The places are based off real places. I like writing about what I know because no one else knows it, so it's nice to share.

Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18

Life is way too good to me. How is that not the most adorable thing you have ever seen? I do not have words for it.

In other news, I finally got to buy Star Trek and am thoroughly excited to be able to watch it whenever the urge grabs me (which will be often). I watched it last night and decided that I really like Bones; I liked him before, but he was overshadowed by Spock (I was in mid-flail the entire time), but when I watched it, I got to appreciate him a lot more. I love his lines - basically everything he says is hilarious.

Of course, buying ST hasn't helped my urges to join Star Fleet lessen. I wish that the Academy was real - people laugh when I tell them I would join starfleet, but I am deadly serious: if it was offered to me this very instant - "go to starfleet and leave everything now" - I would. Imagine going to the Academy and training and the lessons and drills and then getting to explore and doing something so important, exciting and thrilling. Much better then this joint. I like thinking about what I would specialise in, which is dumb but whatever.

I'm hoping to update Nano later along with other things.

days 12 to 15;

I basically have been writing but haven't been bothered updating LJ with my progress. Oops. But it's ok - cause there isn't much to report. I've officially reached halfway at halfway - roughly 25000 words on the 15th of November = done. I feel extremely proud of myself having made it thus far. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I hate what I write, but it's important to keep going. I feel like I'm gaining momentum now that I'm on the downhill slide - and it feels great. Things are starting to come together in the novel, which is another great feeling. I love bringing the plot bunnies back together, roping things up - it's personally the part I like in the novels I read, and so I hope it makes sense to the reader of this novel.

I'm starting to like my characters more - Dylan feels more distant from myself now, but closer in some other aspects; she's making some bad decisions and I feel like slapping her, but I need to let her do her own thing. Oliver is... well, the same. He's Oliver. PJ is cool, he's going to be awesome in a little while. I can't wait for some of my big plot scandals~ to be released to the world, and to just write them myself.

You can read all the chapters I've written in the last few days by following the links -

Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13

day 10;

Don't mind the skip from day 7 to day 10 - I had to stop writing to make room for study for my exam. But I came back today, fresh minded and ready to commit myself. Today was good - I wrote a lot of words in a short period of time. I think I managed almost 2500 words today, which is good for the first day back. This chapter gets around to answering some questions, well some I had anyway. I wanted to explain what these people in Home do, because it wasn't quite clear - so I worked that into Dylan's situation. Please excuse Oliver being a douche all the time, I felt like he needed to be a little more double sided. Hopefully all will be worked out ;)

Next chapter is much more interaction between Dylan and Oliver, thank god. I've been wanting to write some proper interaction and dialogue between them for a while, and now that day shall finally come. It is going to answer some more basic questions about Home and everything there, cause Dylan is sick of not knowing.

General moral for the novel is good. I'm starting to wonder what the story will be like at around 30 000 words, cause I don't want the story to run out of steam now. Don't put all your eggs into one basket. So, to compensate, I'm introducing some plot bunnies which I can cash in on later. Planning! Anyway, you can read day 10's efforts by following the link;

Chapter Nine

I tend to be friends with people who have different political/religious/values/beliefs. I tend to be attracted to people who have similar beliefs/views/values as me, perhaps people who are even a little more ~radical. As for life experiences, I find I like people who have had different ones to me - probably the opposite to mine. I dunno, I like a little bit of a tragedy, if that makes sense. I think at least some common interests are needed for a successful relationships - or at least a mutual respect for one another so that your interests aren't pushed aside.

I just really wanted to post this.

day 5;

Really nothing to comment on. Writing has been good, today's was a little bit of a poor effort, but I got to write some things I've wanted to, so that was good. Tomorrow's effort will be a but more solid and further the plot even more. Anyway, the next chapter can be read below. :D

Chapter 6

day 4;

So improved that it isn't funny - today was marvellous in terms of writing. I done some work, but it didn't kill my spirit cause it was easy. Also, drinking cups of tea while writing a novel is amazing~ I just started writing what I wanted to write, and I'm really pleased with how it came out. I'm really enjoying writing the different world chapters - I love that anything can happen if I want it to. I love that these characters are subject to my mind, but at the same time, they are people too, so I can't go all out. I think I'm still in the phase of setting the scene and characters for what's to come; but i'm now approximately 1/5 of the way through :D So happy and excited. You can read today's chapter by following the link.

Chapter five

day 3;

I don't even know anymore. I really wasn't in the mood for writing; I think I need to stop working before I write. It's hard for me to settle down in that mode and just work. Thankfully, I've finished the work I've been needing to do. All that remains is some study for my exam, and I'm thinking that can come after my novel. But nevertheless, I managed to pull around 1,600 words today; it's solid, but I don't really think it's that good. Nevertheless, it's filler for what's to come, and tomorrow I can get to what I want. Anyway, you can read the fourth chapter, just follow the link.

Chapter four

day two;

Didn't feel in the mood for writing - ended up writing 1820, which is above the daily recommendation anyway. I liked the chapter that came out, anyway - inspired by the song "I Caught Myself" by Paramore.

Read it here:

Chapter three

Sorry for the short update, I'm gonna go watch Star Trek again!

Day One of NaNoWriMo;

I woke up, really excited to start my ~novel today, but I decided that I was going to do some work first. The work basically killed my spirit, to put it simply. I wasn't in the mood for writing, so I listened to some music and thought a little more. I read a bit of some books I like to figure how to start it. It's hard to start, but I started. I wrote for a lot of the day and ended up writing 3525 words - which is double the daily recommendation. So that is good news. I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'm finding out more plot twists as I'm writing; things that I think I will be able to throw back in later. The start is a little sketchy, but I think it will improve. I need to build my character up a little more, but I'm still working some things out. Overall, I'm extremely pleased with today's progress! You can read what I have written - just follow the links.

Preface
Chapter One
Chapter Two

I have a couple of fears.

Superficially, I'm frightened of aliens and ghosts. I attempt to overcome my ghost fear all the time - going into our haunted bathroom at nighttime and just... talking outloud, telling myself everything is fine and they can't hurt me. Our houses that we've lived in have always been haunted, so I've grown up around it, but it doesn't make it any easier. I don't really know what it is about them that frightens me, I just don't like being watched or that creepy, chilling feeling.

More personally, I have a lot of things that my mind fears. I guess some of them are what everyone fears; being left alone without anyone, being controlled, being trapped, being completely vulnerable. I have a lot of trouble with the last one. I just can't trust people 100%, and I think is really going to become a problem later in life. I think I need time and patience with it, take small steps.

Title: In The End
Author: srchxandxdstry
Rating: G
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: None.
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: Not mine. My words, though.
Author's Note: Just an apocalypse fic. Drabble mostly. Just your run of the mill, end of the world.

( this small drabble is only a click away... )

It's hard deciding on one. The two that stand out the most in my mind is Fall Out Boy on 26/9/07 and My Chemical Romance 27/1/07. If I had to choose one, it'd prolly be Fall Out Boy.

I think that concert was ~magical because I couldn't believe I was there, seeing them. It was post-from under the cork tree and infinity on high, so I was extremely emotionally invested in the whole catalogue. I just remember seeing Pete there, for real, and remembering that being there was where I belonged. I think I've never felt so complete as I did when they performed 'Hum Hallelujah' and 'Saturday' - those were the songs I have been attached to since the start, and having it right before me was so surreal.

They just put on a really good show - just a good Fall Out Boy show, and I got to be part of it with everyone else. One of the best times of my life.

Title: Just a Moment
Author: srchxandxdstry
Rating: G
Bandom: 'A Little Less Sixteen Candles...' verse of Fall Out Boy
Pairing: Patrick& Pete
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: My words, not my people.
Summary: ...all he wishes for is some time away from it all so that they can just be together...
Author's Note: This is the shortest drabble in the history of the world. Inspired by the video.

Patrick looked at Pete, who was clinging to one of the walls of their hideout, and he wished for just one moment that he wasn’t constantly reminded of his boyfriend’s vampire status. It annoyed Patrick that Pete was constantly flaunting it infront of him – the blood, the shakes, the powers, the teeth. It only served to remind Patrick that he and Pete were worlds apart. But it also scared Patrick – he was scared that one day he might accidentally pull the trigger on Pete, or stake him, thinking he was another vampire. Patrick didn’t want to have to be so careful with Pete; he didn’t want to be reminded of the dangers and the constant threat of losing him. How long could he continue opening the coffin doors on Pete, rousing him at night? Making the shakes? Deal with Pete’s constant bad temper and mood swings? It made him nervous, and the fact that Pete was determined for revenge didn’t make Patrick feel any safer. What if Pete decided he wanted to join the Dandies after all? So when Patrick looks at Pete being a vampire, all he wishes for is some time away from it all so that they can just be together, without a care in the world hanging over their heads.

Title: Better Off Gone
Author: srchxandxdstry
Rating: G
Pairings: None
Warnings: Spoilers for 5x02
Summary: Reflection on the last scene of that episode.
Author's Note: Thanks to aja_evenstar for reading it and also posted for jessicamee & other SPN fans!



( basically a drabble on that last scene. )